The worst mistake a manager can make is taking decisions as if everyone would be like them, think like them, adhere to their same set of values and principles, care as much as them, earn as much as them.
Shifting perspective and accepting that others have different views seems to be one of the biggest challenges when you are in a position of power.
When something important ends, there are two ways to react.
One is to look within. Figure out why it ended, try and build resilience, be in touch with your own feelings and pain, imagine a way forward.
One is to look outside. Look for distractions, focus on someone or something to blame, numb feelings and pain with temporary rewards, move frantically in the moment.
Most often, the two coexist. But you can’t really move forward until you have spent a good deal of time in the first state.
We are human beings. Not because we merely are, but because we aim at figuring out who we are, what we stand for, what our essence and purpose are.
We are human doings. Not because we are productive, but because we aim at pursuing our essence and purpose.
And we are human connectings. Not because we are around others, but because we aim at spreading our essence and purpose, while at the same time being influenced by others essence and purpose.
One thing is not true without the others.
When you are under pressure, mistakes happen.
Luckily, not all mistakes will cost you $100 billion. And most importantly, you are the one deciding what pressure to bow to. Not everything is worth pursuing, not all chances are worth taking, not all competitors are worth following.
Sometimes the wise response is to slow down and let go. It’s always a viable option.
When we are kids, we think everybody is interested in our opinion, in what we think, even when we know absolutely nothing about the topic. It might be because our parents have taught us that we matter, that we are the centre of the world. And so of course what we have to say is relevant to the situation. No matter what situation.
Then, we grow up, and somehow we develop some kind of filters. Some do, at least. We start getting feedback that what we say is not really useful, we notice others putting themselves into awkward situations we want to avoid, we are reminded of our limits, and we realise that not everything we have in our head is worth sharing.
Unfortunately, that seems to stop in a couple of instances, at least.
The second case is incredibly similar to what happens to kids. We are surrounded by people who mainly confirm that we are important, that we matter, that we know, that we are better. And we lose the ability to distance our thoughts from what is needed, appropriate, relevant.
That’s a risk that’s worth keeping in mind. Unless we want to come full circle and be just like kids once again.
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