Tag: jobseeking

Not up to the task

FabrizioLeave a comment

So many of us do not feel up to the task. It’s a feeling that makes us shy away from achieving more, that makes us hide and retreat, that eventually feeds into a demotivating spiral from which it is difficult to escape.

But what is the task?

When we say we do not feel up to the task, we often refer to something ideal, some perfect outcome that we never really define. We imagine ourselves being in a position where we have everything under control, where we know everything, and where we can answer every question without fault and self-doubt.

The task is not that. Nobody in their sane mind would ask you to be up to that task.

The task is showing up and figuring it out as you go. Living and dealing with that kind of uncertainty and with that level of ignorance, while still being kind to others and willing to bring them along the way with you. Perhaps learning something from them and teaching them something.

It’s not an easy task, but it can be concrete and it is achievable.

So, if you feel like you are not up to the task, start by asking yourself what the task is. You might be relieved from a big stress.

Comfort

FabrizioLeave a comment

You know what you have to do, and there are three reasons why you are not doing it.

  1. You’ve never done it before
  2. You are not motivated
  3. You don’t have the skills

Some of that might be real, some of that might just be tricks your mind plays to keep you within your comfort zone, free from risks and safe.

But you know what you have to do.

So, understand what is keeping you from doing it and work around it.

Doing and not doing

FabrizioLeave a comment

Doing and not doing.

That’s where the difference is between success and failure.

It’s not quality and quantity.

It’s not perfection and sloppiness.

It’s not expertise and incompetence.

It’s not 1,000 and 1 (of whatever you want to look at).

It’s doing and not doing. That’s what sets us apart.

Empty-handed

FabrizioLeave a comment

The moment you make an argument personal is the moment you lose it.

If your position is right because the other is wrong, or is an idiot, or did not do a good enough job, or is not as competent, your position is extremely weak. And even if you are right, there’s no way you can prove them wrong.

Keep discussions around facts instead and be ready to accept other opinions as valid and worth your consideration.

Arguments are negotiations, and no negotiation can leave one party empty-handed.

Winning mentality

FabrizioLeave a comment

When we lose, it’s easy to play down the whole situation.

It was not so important after all.

Others were lucky.

That single decision was unfair and really cut my chances.

I did not give my best, but if I would have..

The context was heavily against me.

It’s a defence mechanism that puts space between us and the failure so that we don’t feel like such. And it tells of a tendency to see loss as failure.

Of course, if we want to avoid losing more in the future, we’d be better off by owning the loss and trying to see what went wrong. What it is that is under our control and that we can do better.

That’s the sign of a winning mentality.