Three burdens

The first is that you have to be liked. Doing something to please others is the reason why your work sucks and the very same idea that everyone could or should like you is most likely the reason why you are stuck.

The second is that success is measurable with money. It’s a very expensive fairytale and for a very large part of us it is also an excuse to never look at what matters.

The third is that commitment is forever. Very few are, and even when you have invested a lot in something, it is still fair to get to a point where you say: “thank you, I am out”.

Can you free yourself of these burdens?

Matches always start 0-0

Matches always start 0-0.

That’s why it’s so fascinating to start from scratch. When the ball is still, there are infinite possibilities. We can make it, no matter our skills, no matter the environment, no matter how much of an uphill battle it might be.

Of course, there are few memorable matches that ended 0-0.

Also, that’s not a score that gets you to win the championship.

The biggest difference

The biggest difference is not in goals.

We all want some more of something. Money. Success. Health. Career. Knowledge. Security. If you tell that’s what you want, it’s difficult to stand out, because our goals are incredibly similar.

The biggest difference is in method.

How are you going to get that some more?

Tell about that and you will have your own personal story.

A close familiarity

Sometimes people fail to succeed because they can’t accept to suck.

If you want to master something, you have to get accustomed to the idea that you are going to suck. You are going to suck at the thing you want to master – for a long time, before you actually master it -, and you are going to suck at most of the other things that you are not interested in mastering. That’s why it’s easier to move from one activity to the next, averaging them all.

Success requires a close familiarity with the idea that you suck.

Powerful instincts

There are two powerful instincts we need to fight when things don’t go as we’d like.

The instinct to hide, to go ahead as if nothing happened.

And the instinct to find an immediate, easy, known answer.

In both cases, we take a shortcut, as we are basically hoping that things will magically go back to normal. It might even be the case, but it is rare.

If we can fight those forces for long enough, a more rational approach might kick in. It’s when we start looking at the situation, we collect facts and data, we formulate hypothesis, we make changes, and we reassess.

Of course, it’s more complex, and it might even get us face-to-face with some hard truths we’d prefer to escape.

And it’s still the most reliable way to move on and progress.