Tag: feedback

Reflection and learning

Fabrizio1 Comment

Every ending is a new beginning.

But of course, we need to be able to appreciate the ending. To grieve. To be mad, frustrated, disappointed, sad. To stay with the negative for some time and let others know that we suffer because of the ending.

Then, we can start thinking about what “new” looks like. Because often, continuing on the same path, going back exactly where the ending broke the path, is not the best way to look for a beginning.

Every ending is a new beginning.

Let’s not use that anymore as a band aid on top of a wound, but as a process of reflection and learning.

Humiliation

FabrizioLeave a comment

Rejection does not have to go hand in hand with humiliation.

No matter how frustrated we are for the situation, no matter how much we have pondered and considered and reviewed, no matter how much time we have lost. In the moment when we deliver a decision of rejection, history is meaningless, and all that matters is helping the person we reject to maintain their face and rebuild their confidence, so that they can move on and do fantastic things.

In fact, rejection is more easily accepted when it does not come with humiliation attached to it.

The wrong thing

FabrizioLeave a comment

We all feel fear.

Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being useful enough, fear of being let go, fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, fear of no progress, fear of judgement, fear of failure. And probably, a thousand other fears.

We all feel that. We do.

And the problem is when that fear begins to drive action.

Failing to disclose something important during the hiring process because we might get rejected.

Telling a seemingly unimportant lie to ensure we can hide for a little longer.

Putting others down to allow our work to shine.

Turning a blind eye on a detail so that we can continue uncontested.

There is nothing more natural than fear. Embrace it rather than reject it. And make sure that, despite the fear, you will still do the right thing.

What is keeping you

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you have made up you mind about something and still struggle to follow through, share the decision with someone.

It will help you go deeper, see your arguments from another perspective, and it will point to that part of the whole that is keeping you.

Nuanced

FabrizioLeave a comment

We are parents, candidates, friends, bosses, colleagues, direct reports, volunteers, competitors, acquaintances, organisers, participants, customers, service providers, advocates, seekers, petitioners, suckers, casualties.

And of course, we are much more.

While being aware of all the roles is great, the real point is ensuring that we can still keep them somehow separated to appreciate nuances and be able to give second (and third, and fourth, and fifth) chances.

A friend coming in for an interview is still a friend AND a candidate for a position at your company.

A boss who volunteers for the organisation you’ve been involved with for years is still a boss AND a volunteer.

Somebody you don’t get along with who walks into your shop to purchase some goods is still somebody you don’t like AND a customer.

Roles do not erase each other. They add to each other.