I don’t have time for this.
It sounds a lot better when you say instead.
I have made a decision not to invest time in this.
That is a more honest thing to say. It also shows awareness and determination. It denotes you are in control of how you spend your day and it holds you responsible for the things your are not doing.
Time is not an entity we can control. What we do with it, instead, is something we can learn to master.
In any role, there are three sources of motivation.
First is what the company you work for values. This is not about the principles you read on the website, but what happens at the company at certain critical times. Is it an environment where people generally care about each other? Is there a lot of control, processes, red tape? What happens when somebody disagrees or fails? Who gets promoted?
Second is the relationships you have. Both with your peers and with your managers. When the first source fails, this becomes incredibly powerful. How often do you hear from them? Do you know them on a personal level? Do you have supporting people around you, and do you have people you feel like giving your support to? What happens when somebody leaves?
Third is the work you do. When the first two fail, this is all you have left. How do you feel about the tasks you are being assigned? Are you proud of what you do? Are you learning something new? Would you do this somewhere else? Can you?
The most important question: where do you get your motivation from right now?
Remember to take a break.
When things go bad. When you feel down. When the motivation is low.
Take a break and direct your attention away from what is not working.
Learn something, instead of dedicating one more hour to the project that’s sucking your life away.
Chat with a stranger, instead of repeating the same things yet another time to the friend that is hurting you.
Grab a book, instead of checking your inbox once more waiting for the message that never comes.
You can always go back to the problem later on.
Refreshed.
In terms of management, the opposite of command is not freedom.
Freedom is an excuse beyond which many bad managers take cover. You are free to choose what you learn. You are free to come to the office or not. You are free to talk to whoever you feel like talking to.
Freedom, for most of us at least, is also a given. You are not differentiating your organisation by allowing me to learn, move, talk.
So, the opposite of command is not freedom.
The opposite of command is care.
I care, and that’s why we should talk about your strengths, ambitions, the opportunities we offer, the opportunities the market offers. I care and I will help you get there.
I care, and that’s why I have researched the topic and found that this is the most effective way to coordinate hybrid work. I care and I will guarantee your safety (physical and mental) and that of your colleagues.
I care, and that’s why I have prepared a list of people you should talk to regarding this project. I care and I will be with you as you seek buy-in to move this forward.
Care is what people seek. Care is what retains talent. Care is the differentiator.
There is value in staying with what makes you uncomfortable.
You get stronger, you understand more, you settle. Staying is a learning experience. It is by staying that eventually you begin to manage situations that initially seemed insurmountable.
Of course, staying is also a huge stress.
So pick a few things that matter, and stay.
You've got this 