Tag: fear

The friend complex

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you raise through the ranks, keep in mind that your role, responsibilities, relationships shift.

It is mainly a journey you have to do alone. And you can’t make up for it by pretending you are still friend with everyone. Your words have a different weight. Your messages have a different weight. Even your ideas and opinions have a different weight. The best you can do is embrace this fact and act as it is expected by your new role.

Instead of cracking an ambiguous joke, shut up and listen.

Instead of sharing your pain and frustration, own other’s pains and frustrations.

Instead of giving your opinion on every topic, ensure that others can give theirs.

The friend complex is dangerous for founders, executives, managers. Whether you resist to it might make the difference between being alone and being lonely.

Closer

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you can’t stand somebody.

When you have problems with them, can’t figure out what they stand for, have concerns about their agenda.

When you had an argument, can’t see eye to eye, really can’t understand.

When they are so different they annoy you, unnerve you, dishearten you, hurt you.

The only real thing to do is to be even closer to them. If you care about the relationship, of course.

For others

FabrizioLeave a comment

You can explain. You can ask. You can force. You can demand. You can ghost.

But you should never decide for others.

If you decide for others, you are telling them they are not mature enough, strong enough, intelligent enough to make a decision for themselves.

That’s not something to be done lightly.

Bucketload

FabrizioLeave a comment

If things are difficult, everyone is impacted. Those in high positions, those in the middle, and those at the bottom.

And it works in a way so that those at the bottom do not care for the impact on those higher up. Because for them, it is often a matter of survival, and survival does not allow for unselfishness.

The point is that if you are in a situation of crisis and you are on top, do not expect others to give you empathy. Be prepared to be giving it out by the bucketload instead.

More aware

FabrizioLeave a comment

If someone comes to you with a critical remark on something you did, and instead of starting with “what I meant was”, you are capable to start with “I had not thought about that”, you are on the path to becoming a more aware person.

And awareness – of yourself and of others – is where everything starts.