It’s not a negative thing to question your strongest beliefs.
You might either get away with some new ones or with some stronger convictions.
Of course, it’s scary. Because for a moment, in the process, you might not know what to hold on to, you might feel lost, you might feel shaky.
On the other side, though, there’s a richer version of you.
We want something, and when we get it we end up being deeply disappointed, unexpectedly scared, ultimately sad.
It might be because that thing is not what we wanted (or needed), but often it’s also because we do not have a clear idea of what the thing will entail. What skills are needed, what resources are necessary, what it actually means to be in the situation.
So, before we move onto the next big project – the new thing we really, really want now – let’s try to be with our achievement for a while. Let it sink in, get used to its reality, make it comfortable.
It might as well be that a bit of routine and practice is all we need next.
It’s easy to care when you control everything. It’s also easy to give up responsibilities when you are no longer committed. But the most difficult thing to learn to be a good parent, or a good leader, is the ability to let go of control while still continuing to care deeply.
It’s not quantity that will make you feel accomplished and satisfied. That’s a lazy proxy for work that matters.
It’s not even quality. That’s volatile and no two people would agree on what that means.
It’s the alignment between what you do and what you stand for. And too often we mistake quantity or quality for the final goal.
Some situations have the power to take us back to the ground. They remind us we are not invincible, they prove time is a very limited resource, they point to someone who is more prepared.
When we go past them and their drama, they can teach us to be with what we have and what we are, to the best of our own possibilities.
That’s what they are really for.
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