Tag: fear

Defensive

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It’s so easy to feel attacked when somebody gives you critical feedback or even just points at some mistake you made. It’s even easier when you are tired, when you are going through a rough patch, when you have had bad experiences in your past, or when you are generally not used to get feedback.

If you can just hold your thoughts for a little longer, though, you can see that’s not the feedback that’s hurting. It’s the tiredness, the fear, the stress, the insecureness.

Say it.

“I’m tired”.

“I’m under a lot of stress and I needed an easy win”.

“I’m sorry, I will fix that, it’s just something I don’t feel particularly confident with”.

That little labelling exercise will completely shift the narrative. From defensive you become open. And when you are open, anything can happen.

Record and write

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Record your thoughts. On video, audio only, no matter the equipment.

Write your thoughts. On a journal, a notepad, no matter how clearly.

Recording and writing your thoughts is a sure way to free space in your mind, to clarify your ideas, and to improve your skills when it comes to elaborate complex concepts.

Play with it. Do short form, long form, free form, scripted form. Try different things, repeat and confirm, change your mind, enjoy yourself.

And find the courage to hit publish, sooner rather than later.

P.S.: Perfect is an excuse.

PP.S.: Tools are also an excuse.

The basis of a relationship

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Relationships are hard work. All relationships.

That’s mainly because in a relationship we are asked to take something into consideration that we are incapable of understanding: the other party involved.

It takes a lot of work to just accept this simple fact. That understanding is not the basis of a relationship.

Caring is.

Things you accept

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The things you can learn to accept.

It’s unbelievable.

You are resilient and you can live every day learning to accept feelings, thoughts, situations that on paper you would never want in your life.

It helps to frame them in a narrative that serves your higher purpose. And it helps to remind yourself of that narrative at challenging times and at good times.

Once you have that, you are simply unstoppable.

Blame

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What good is it to blame it on others? People who might or might not be still around. People who’ve passed by, who stopped for a while, who’ve been a constant, whom we’ll never talk ever again.

And what good is it to blame it on the circumstances? What has happened, what might have been, what will be tomorrow. The weather, the economics, the politics, and the structural difficulties.

At the end of the day, we are the greatest enemy to our own achievements.

We are in control, just not of the things we tend to blame.

We can decide to wake up and do the work.

We can extend an hand and help a friend.

We can be kind, inspiring, and motivating.

We can say thank you and I am sorry.

We can still talk when nobody listens.

Or we can shut up when we decide it’s enough.

One way or the other, we can.

And we should.