Tag: failure

First, then

FabrizioLeave a comment

First perfect the making of the dough, then go buy the perfect oven and tools to cook the best pizza.

First learn to communicate transparently and effectively, then go buy the app that makes your company more open and inclusive.

First establish a practice of running, then go buy the equipment that will make you feel more like a pro.

It’s easier to start with the details that embellish the core. It makes us feel as if we are doing something important, as if we are going in the right direction. But if you do not get the core right, you have nothing to fall back onto when you realize details are just details.

Disappointment

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Disappointment is about anticipated rewards.

Sometimes the anticipated rewards are the result of our ambitions, aspirations, dreams, desires, experiences. We are active part in building up our expectations, to the point that it often becomes impossible for the actual thing to satisfy them.

Sometimes they are set by others with their ads, content, hype-building tactics, public relations, supposed culture. They prepare a mental image for us that buys us in and eventually turns out to be just too good to be true.

Disappointment is a fundamental part of life. The first type helps us stay grounded, adjust our course, understand how things work. The second type tells us about relationships, who to trust, to what extent and in which circumstances.

And most of all, disappointment is a reminder that while we often govern the inputs, we have little to no power over the outcomes.

That is fine.

Crisp

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Writing long email messages is a disservice to your audience and to yourself.

Your audience does not have time for long, they will at best skim through the message and forget about it the moment they close it (hopefully they will not decide to follow up with another message). You will fail to get through to them, your idea will be diminished, your questions and concerns drowned in adjectives and adverbs, and you will inevitably feel the urge to explain yourself, to add more, to elaborate, in short to add to the confusion.

The time you take to make your message crisp is time well spent.

Distinctive

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When things do not go as planned, and you have to break the news to those who have helped, to those who have offered their ideas, their energy, their work, there is one thing that can make it worse.

Blaming the change of plan to others.

Of course, it works in the moment. It pushes away the shame for the loss, the difficult conversation, the necessary argument.

But as you regroup and start delivering against the new plan, no one will feel committed.

Find a reason to believe in instead, and motivate the changes with passion. Even when it was not you making the call, especially when it was not you making the call. Nobody likes change, but everyone is willing to accept it, if it makes sense.

Long term is always more important than short term. That is the distinctive sign of leadership.

Nothing wrong

FabrizioLeave a comment

I did nothing wrong.

Defensiveness is often the go-to strategy when we are put on the spot. In all honesty, though, we would be more accurate saying I did mean nothing wrong, or even better My intentions were in the right place.

When somebody negatively reacts to something we did or said, something clicks in our mind that forces us to preserve our reputation. It is a natural mechanism, nothing easily preventable, but if you think about it, that “something” is assuming that: 1. we are infallible; 2. if we fail, we fail deeply, as a person, as a human being.

Both are false, of course. And so, next time you feel the urge to say I did nothing wrong, stop for a moment and try instead asking How did what I said felt?, or What can I do better next time?, or even How can I make this right?

It is only by avoiding to take things personally and by expressing a real interest in what the others feel and perceive that we can build strong relationships.

And become, little by little, an improved version of a human being.