Tag: failure

The wrong thing

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We all feel fear.

Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being useful enough, fear of being let go, fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, fear of no progress, fear of judgement, fear of failure. And probably, a thousand other fears.

We all feel that. We do.

And the problem is when that fear begins to drive action.

Failing to disclose something important during the hiring process because we might get rejected.

Telling a seemingly unimportant lie to ensure we can hide for a little longer.

Putting others down to allow our work to shine.

Turning a blind eye on a detail so that we can continue uncontested.

There is nothing more natural than fear. Embrace it rather than reject it. And make sure that, despite the fear, you will still do the right thing.

The effect of time

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Healing takes time.

You won’t probably feel much better after a pill, a visit to the doctor, a massage, a session with a therapist. But with time, those things will have an effect.

You have to give healing time. Even when it seems like you don’t have any.

The thing about misunderstandings

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What you say is going to be misunderstood.

There’s really not much to say, it’s just the nature of communication. You deliver a message from your own position, with your own understanding, and the other person interprets all of that from their own position, with a different understanding. This happens inevitably, no matter how close the speaker and the listener are. It’s not your fault. It’s not their fault. It’s just how it is.

The only thing you can do about it is to repeat the message over and over again.

Of course, you will become boring after while, people will start telling you they have already heard that, some will make fun of you, others will just stop listening and move on.

But it really is the only thing you can do about misunderstandings.

Just be careful that the message you choose to repeat is really the one that matters to your purpose.

Nuanced

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We are parents, candidates, friends, bosses, colleagues, direct reports, volunteers, competitors, acquaintances, organisers, participants, customers, service providers, advocates, seekers, petitioners, suckers, casualties.

And of course, we are much more.

While being aware of all the roles is great, the real point is ensuring that we can still keep them somehow separated to appreciate nuances and be able to give second (and third, and fourth, and fifth) chances.

A friend coming in for an interview is still a friend AND a candidate for a position at your company.

A boss who volunteers for the organisation you’ve been involved with for years is still a boss AND a volunteer.

Somebody you don’t get along with who walks into your shop to purchase some goods is still somebody you don’t like AND a customer.

Roles do not erase each other. They add to each other.

Goodwill

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Somebody complimenting someone else is not taking anything away from you.

There’s enough goodwill in the world for everyone, it’s not a finite resource.

Somebody complimenting someone else is additive and should not be bothering you.