When you can’t stand somebody.
When you have problems with them, can’t figure out what they stand for, have concerns about their agenda.
When you had an argument, can’t see eye to eye, really can’t understand.
When they are so different they annoy you, unnerve you, dishearten you, hurt you.
The only real thing to do is to be even closer to them. If you care about the relationship, of course.
You can explain. You can ask. You can force. You can demand. You can ghost.
But you should never decide for others.
If you decide for others, you are telling them they are not mature enough, strong enough, intelligent enough to make a decision for themselves.
That’s not something to be done lightly.
If things are difficult, everyone is impacted. Those in high positions, those in the middle, and those at the bottom.
And it works in a way so that those at the bottom do not care for the impact on those higher up. Because for them, it is often a matter of survival, and survival does not allow for unselfishness.
The point is that if you are in a situation of crisis and you are on top, do not expect others to give you empathy. Be prepared to be giving it out by the bucketload instead.
If someone comes to you with a critical remark on something you did, and instead of starting with “what I meant was”, you are capable to start with “I had not thought about that”, you are on the path to becoming a more aware person.
And awareness – of yourself and of others – is where everything starts.
Honesty is the possibility to take a heavy weight off your mind. When you are honest about something, that thing does not clutter your thinking anymore, it no longer makes you wonder, it makes space for other things.
Just be mindful of whether that weight can be carried by the other person.
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