Tag: empowerment

Fan

Fabrizio2 Comments

If you want people around you to be motivated, be their fan.

Cheer for them, clap for them, believe in them. Tell them they will be successful. Find what they are good at and nudge them. Promote them, advocate for their cause, put their work forward, write them references, and be their marketing department.

Particularly when things are not going the way they were expecting.

We are very good at being fan of political parties, sport clubs, divisive issues, social groups. And for some reasons, we are very bad at being fans of colleagues, team members, managers, partners, friends, peers.

Start being a fan of the people that are important to you. Your world will change.

What question

Fabrizio4 Comments

What are the next steps? Do I get to be involved?

These are two questions, or is it actually one? We could ask what is our real intention.

If we are genuinely curious about the next steps, then we should just stop at the first question.
If we want to know if we need to allocate time because of our involvement, then we should just go with the second one.
If we want to be involved, then we should just say it and avoid the question.

Can I ask if you have made the decision already?

This is one question, but it turns out we are asking two. Out of excessive politeness, most definitely.

If we want to know if the person is free to answer, then we should just stop at the first question.
If we want to know whether a decision has been made, then we should just go with the second one.
If we want to know the decision that was made, then we should just go ahead and ask directly.

Communication is complex, so much so that it often fails. Why add complexity?

Ask yourself what you want to know, then make the question that can get you the answer.

The golden mean

Fabrizio1 Comment

I bought this yesterday, what do you think?

Do you like my new haircut?

I heard you were at my presentation, did you enjoy it?

Honesty is a wonderful thing, but if you have ever had to answer the questions above (or any of their variations) you know that honesty has its dark side. Actually, two.

On one side, there’s exaggeration. It is a lie, often inflated. And it is used to gain some kind of advantage, whether it is a conflict to avoid, the need to be accepted, or even full-blown deception. Here is what exaggeration might look like.

I bought this yesterday, what do you think? It is gorgeous!

Do you like my new haircut? You look wonderful, wow!

I heard you were at my presentation, did you enjoy it? Absolutely, you have amazing skills!

On the other side, there’s disrespect. It is a truth, often inflated. And it is used to just let out whatever it is we feel inside in that particular moment, with no regard for those around us, their state of mind, their feelings, their circumstances. Here is what disrespect might look like.

I bought this yesterday, what do you think? It really sucks, you could have spared the money!

Do you like my new haircut? No, it stresses everything that is wrong with your face.

I heard you were at my presentation, did you enjoy it? I slept for most of the time, quite boring.

Honesty is about striking the balance between exaggeration and disrespect. And if you can’t do that, you will always struggle to communicate effectively: exaggeration taints the message, disrespect upsets the receiver. One way or the other, change will not happen.

Virtue is a mean between two vices, one of excess and one of deficiency.

Aristotle

Pick one

FabrizioLeave a comment

Since you have just started here / you have time / you have done it until now / I don’t want to do it, why don’t you take responsibility for this project?

Or alternatively.

I have noticed you working on a past project, and I appreciate how you could keep things on track while still communicating well with everyone involved. This new project is important for us, to be able to better serve our customers and increase retention. I feel we have the best chances to succeed if you are going to take care of it.

Which one would make you feel more motivated to deliver your best possible work?

Which one is more often used from managers around the world?

Doubt

Fabrizio2 Comments

Doubt is what will eventually strengthen us.

When we are not sure we are doing the right thing.

When we feel we are not being the better version of ourselves.

When we do not know if we are qualified enough.

When we struggle to find an answer.

When we can’t figure out how to approach a difficult conversation.

When we have no idea if that’s going to work out.

Doubt has the power to inject curiosity, to put us on a path towards betterment, to make us seek new connections and knowledge. Doubt is the fuel that ignites the next step.

Without doubt, we are stuck.