Humane

If presented with the possibility, would you share the highest reward with your fiercest competitor? Would you be fine with going down in history together with them? Or would you just try a bit harder, a bit further, to be the only winner?

Too often we see competition as a zero-sum game, a clear winner and loser is a must. But what occurred in the high jump points to something far greater. As we outlined in Peak Performance*, if we can put our ego aside, we actually free ourselves up to perform to our best ability. Our ego often pushes us to perform out of a place of fear, of needing to show the world that I’m good enough. When we can let go of that noise, and realize that competition is about getting the most out of ourselves, we can fulfill our potential.

Brad Stulberg, Competing with instead of always against

* My notes on Peak Performance.

Shared way

Doing work in a group also means acknowledging that different people have different ways to react to and express anxiety, stress, fear.

Most groups respond to the attitude of the person in power, and the person in power wants to get out of the unpleasant situation as soon as possible: more control, more direction, more drama. This often means everyone hides and looks for ways to stay afloat.

Successful groups manage to talk. To air their feelings and find a shared way forward. To take the differences and dig value from them. To step into the unknown together, at the same time.

Surveillance

When you set out to figure out how to control your employees more closely – checking how much time they spend in meetings, measuring how many breaks they take during the day, asking for what reasons they are taking time off -, you have problems that no surveillance system in the world can fix.

Trust leads engagement.

Within reach

The only thing we have moderate control on is ourselves. What we do. How we react. The way we talk about the events of life. Who we spend time with, and where.

And yet, we spend an incredible amount of energy trying to guide what others think, the random events, what others will decide, and whether they want to spend time with us or not.

Focus on what is within reach.

The version you will never be

Eventually, you will have to make peace with the version of yourself you will never be.

With your childhood dreams. With what your family wanted for you. With what you never liked and got inculcated with anyway simply because you were born there. With what has changed and will not come back.

It’s a huge challenge, probably one of the biggest one you’ll face.

What you are not, you simply are not.