Somebody complimenting someone else is not taking anything away from you.
There’s enough goodwill in the world for everyone, it’s not a finite resource.
Somebody complimenting someone else is additive and should not be bothering you.
Tag: empathy
A viable option
When you are tired of an exchange – with a colleague, your partner, a friend, your kid – it’s ok to be the one stopping it.
We always want to win, but sometimes, oftentimes, sending the ball back to the opposite side of the court is just not worth it. Grab the ball, say that you are sorry, and move on.
Almost nothing in life is a battle with winners and losers. Renouncing is a viable option.
A price too high
A big chunk of every job is managing expectations.
Of course, we want to say yes to everything. We want all the new customers and partners. We want to be perceived as competent, fast, and infallible. We want others to think that we do our work with ease even though our work is complex and uncertain. We want to project an aura of competence and confidence in any situation.
But if we do not manage expectations realistically, we will soon drown and take all those around us – colleagues, friends, family – with us.
The price is just too high.
Not imperative
It’s not imperative that you are involved in everything.
It’s not imperative that you understand everything.
It’s not imperative that you check everything.
It’s not imperative that you fix everything.
It’s not imperative that you control everything.
It’s not imperative that you point out the flaws and defects in everything.
It’s not imperative that you vet everything before it gets out.
Once you understand this, you will be surprised by how things still happen, with good results, without you being there to take credit.
It’s empowering.
It’s liberating.
Not how people work
Subject: Such Interesting Mentorship Programmes
Body: Hi Fabrizio, came across your LinkedIn profile and wow you have participated in such interesting internship programmes. I’m just checking to see if you are the person responsible for lead generation. If you aren’t the right person to speak with, can you forward me on to someone more appropriate?
I guess the assumption here is that personalisation is easy. That to establish a relationship it is sufficient to point at some trivial thing, such as the colour of your hair, or the fact we both have two eyes and one mouth. That after quickly exchanging some pleasantries, it is ok to not only go straight to business, but also to ask for further introductions. That the receiver of a cold outreach is nothing but a necessary evil to surmount in the name of the business goal.
Of course, that’s not how it works. Because that is not how people work.
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