Tag: empathy

The right thing

Fabrizio1 Comment

When we do the right thing we often tend to think in terms of output.

I spoke of the injustice so they would see and fix it.

I called out that person for their behavior so they would be punished.

I studied hard for this exam so I would pass.

I have shared my experience so you would not make the same mistake.

But doing the right thing is more of a matter of input.

It is your values, your story, your purpose that you feed into the thing to make it right. What happens after should really not be that important.

Love the process

FabrizioLeave a comment

The great thing about getting better at something is that it is an infinite process.

There is no limit, no perfection.

It is something that cannot be grasped. You can look back and say: I am better at it now. And while you say it, you are already on your way to getting better.

It is not a linear development. You win some, you lose most, and yet eventually, somehow, you end up being better.

It is not an action we are particularly good at planning, and indeed most of our betterment happens without a clear path, when we do not know, when there is darkness at the end of the tunnel.

Better is a volatile concept to hang on to.

So, love the process instead and forget better.

Strong and weak

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Sometimes we feel strong. And then a comment, an action, a missed opportunity, an unexpected reaction makes us fall back into weakness.

Sometimes we feel weak. And then a comment, an action, an unexpected opportunity, a kind reaction makes our strength evolve to new heights.

We were not strong, we were not weak.

The most we can hope is to be aware enough to appreciate these fluctuations, and understand that in the end it was always us.

About your story

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Why are you doing it?

Is it to get back at someone?

Is it a form of revenge?

Are you in it out of boredom?

Or perhaps because you feel you have no other chance.

Is it because someone is pushing you?

Or maybe because of someone else’s dream (a younger you perhaps).

If one of the above is the case, chances are that it will not work. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are up to these days, whatever you are planning for tomorrow will most likely fail if why you are doing it is because of others. In any shape or form.

Build a story from your experience, your practices, what you delivered, your purpose instead. And make it about it.

It will be your story. And it will make all the difference.

Fear to lose

FabrizioLeave a comment

When the main driver is the fear to lose what one has achieved, most likely there will be poor decisions, regret, and misery.

We need to be able to maintain a distance from our achievements. By all means, let’s be proud of them. But also remember that our job, our role, our income, our wealth, the praises we receive, the targets we met, the network we built. They are not a measure of our worth.

Nurture practices instead, craft a purpose that gives you meaning, stick to values you feel are right. Focus on what is in your power. That’s when you realize that when you fall, your foundations are solid, and you will have plenty of occasions to start afresh.

You will also find that you will fall less and less often.

Perhaps because we are all falling all the time.