When you write copy for a website, a landing page, a brochure, a banner, an email, or any other marketing or sales material, this is a great piece of advice.
Except, you should actually ask that question at word level: what is this word supposed to do?
Words take up precious space on screens, and the ones you are going to pick need to have the potential to change the right people. This is probably the reason why your marketing material is not effective.
If you want people around you to be motivated, be their fan.
Cheer for them, clap for them, believe in them. Tell them they will be successful. Find what they are good at and nudge them. Promote them, advocate for their cause, put their work forward, write them references, and be their marketing department.
Particularly when things are not going the way they were expecting.
We are very good at being fan of political parties, sport clubs, divisive issues, social groups. And for some reasons, we are very bad at being fans of colleagues, team members, managers, partners, friends, peers.
Start being a fan of the people that are important to you. Your world will change.
What are the next steps? Do I get to be involved?
These are two questions, or is it actually one? We could ask what is our real intention.
If we are genuinely curious about the next steps, then we should just stop at the first question.
If we want to know if we need to allocate time because of our involvement, then we should just go with the second one.
If we want to be involved, then we should just say it and avoid the question.
Can I ask if you have made the decision already?
This is one question, but it turns out we are asking two. Out of excessive politeness, most definitely.
If we want to know if the person is free to answer, then we should just stop at the first question.
If we want to know whether a decision has been made, then we should just go with the second one.
If we want to know the decision that was made, then we should just go ahead and ask directly.
Communication is complex, so much so that it often fails. Why add complexity?
Ask yourself what you want to know, then make the question that can get you the answer.
I bought this yesterday, what do you think?
Do you like my new haircut?
I heard you were at my presentation, did you enjoy it?
Honesty is a wonderful thing, but if you have ever had to answer the questions above (or any of their variations) you know that honesty has its dark side. Actually, two.
On one side, there’s exaggeration. It is a lie, often inflated. And it is used to gain some kind of advantage, whether it is a conflict to avoid, the need to be accepted, or even full-blown deception. Here is what exaggeration might look like.
I bought this yesterday, what do you think? It is gorgeous!
Do you like my new haircut? You look wonderful, wow!
I heard you were at my presentation, did you enjoy it? Absolutely, you have amazing skills!
On the other side, there’s disrespect. It is a truth, often inflated. And it is used to just let out whatever it is we feel inside in that particular moment, with no regard for those around us, their state of mind, their feelings, their circumstances. Here is what disrespect might look like.
I bought this yesterday, what do you think? It really sucks, you could have spared the money!
Do you like my new haircut? No, it stresses everything that is wrong with your face.
I heard you were at my presentation, did you enjoy it? I slept for most of the time, quite boring.
Honesty is about striking the balance between exaggeration and disrespect. And if you can’t do that, you will always struggle to communicate effectively: exaggeration taints the message, disrespect upsets the receiver. One way or the other, change will not happen.
Virtue is a mean between two vices, one of excess and one of deficiency.
Aristotle
Our next project, the future of the team, the current state of affairs, the launch of the new product, the brand revamp, the newly appointed executive, the team member who is leaving.
If we treat everything as a big reveal, sharing information with a restricted number of confidants while others are left reading tea leaves, two things will likely happen.
First, we loose the opportunity to buy people in before things are set. Sharing the work, the good and the bad, before it is ready to ship means we can ask for input, we can hear what the people who are affected think, we can let others into the change, and we can sell the reasoning and thought process more easily.
And then, we take focus away from the rest of the organisation. Whether we want it or not, the big reveal becomes the center of the conversation, and by the time it actually happens, every single person will already have their own solid picture of what that is about. How can we then satisfy all of them?
Big reveals are powerful tools, and they are also one of the main reasons why change is often so challenging to manage. We should not make big reveals the norm.
You've got this 