Tag: communication

Humiliation

FabrizioLeave a comment

Rejection does not have to go hand in hand with humiliation.

No matter how frustrated we are for the situation, no matter how much we have pondered and considered and reviewed, no matter how much time we have lost. In the moment when we deliver a decision of rejection, history is meaningless, and all that matters is helping the person we reject to maintain their face and rebuild their confidence, so that they can move on and do fantastic things.

In fact, rejection is more easily accepted when it does not come with humiliation attached to it.

The wrong thing

FabrizioLeave a comment

We all feel fear.

Fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of not being useful enough, fear of being let go, fear of the unknown, fear of being alone, fear of no progress, fear of judgement, fear of failure. And probably, a thousand other fears.

We all feel that. We do.

And the problem is when that fear begins to drive action.

Failing to disclose something important during the hiring process because we might get rejected.

Telling a seemingly unimportant lie to ensure we can hide for a little longer.

Putting others down to allow our work to shine.

Turning a blind eye on a detail so that we can continue uncontested.

There is nothing more natural than fear. Embrace it rather than reject it. And make sure that, despite the fear, you will still do the right thing.

The lock and the key

FabrizioLeave a comment

First, you need to figure out what story you have to tell.

Second, you need to figure out who might be interested in the story you have to tell.

Third, you have to tell the story.

One and two might be interchangeable, and actually it is generally a good idea to search for a lock and then fashion a key.

But the problem is that most just go with three.

What is keeping you

FabrizioLeave a comment

When you have made up you mind about something and still struggle to follow through, share the decision with someone.

It will help you go deeper, see your arguments from another perspective, and it will point to that part of the whole that is keeping you.

The thing about misunderstandings

FabrizioLeave a comment

What you say is going to be misunderstood.

There’s really not much to say, it’s just the nature of communication. You deliver a message from your own position, with your own understanding, and the other person interprets all of that from their own position, with a different understanding. This happens inevitably, no matter how close the speaker and the listener are. It’s not your fault. It’s not their fault. It’s just how it is.

The only thing you can do about it is to repeat the message over and over again.

Of course, you will become boring after while, people will start telling you they have already heard that, some will make fun of you, others will just stop listening and move on.

But it really is the only thing you can do about misunderstandings.

Just be careful that the message you choose to repeat is really the one that matters to your purpose.