When you broadcast a message, some will get it and subscribe, while others will resist it and deny it.
You can either foster and engage with those who get it, or you can attempt to convince and prove wrong those who resist it. Sometimes it will look like you are doing both at the same time, but do not fall for it. It’s either one or the other.
Spend your limited time wisely.
When you engage in a new connection, expect friction.
You are trying to tie-in two (or more) parts that were separated before, and therefore it is granted there’s going to be misunderstanding, resistance, overreaching and suspicion.
Your role is to not misinterpret all of that as a signal a connection is not needed or wanted. Building bridges is the only way to progress, and you have to keep motivation high and fear low to gather people around a vision, a concept, an idea.
Hang in there.
There will always be two ways to build an identity.
The first one is founded on differences and contrasts.
We are different (from them).
Our team is the best performing in the company.
They do not care as much as we do.
When I see them, it makes me want to give my best to beat them.
The second one is founded on unity and commonalities.
We all work to have long lasting impact.
Our teams share the values of transparency and hard work.
We are in this together.
Our organisation wants to be a place in which people of different background can express their best work.
Which one you pick is an active choice, one that needs to be reaffirmed over time, one that you need to be aware of in the first place. So often we slip onto the first option simply because it is the easiest to put into practice. Be intentional.
It’s quite challenging to appreciate the impact of our actions on others. Mainly because it takes time to manifest, and we are often too focused on what is happening in the moment.
But on the other end, it is delusional to believe that our actions have no impact. We do not operate in a vacuum, and when we say something, behave in a certain way, choose one option over another, people around us will make a mental note and work on some type of reaction.
The more intentional you are about what you choose to do (and not to do), the more likely the influence on others will be the one you want to have. Unsurprisingly, it all start with awareness.
For a very long time, when somebody would pay me a compliment I was going to diminish it.
Either I was going to switch the attention on the indefinite number of things that were still far from worthy of a compliment (in my work, in my deliverables, in myself, in the world), or I was just going to play down the importance of what I did with reference to the bigger picture (this is not going to help us achieve what we want anyway!).
Somehow, I now realize this is a selfish and harmful thing to do.
It does not give resolution to the person paying the compliment, therefore fostering a culture that is not incline to doing so. And it tends to increase self-expectations, setting yourself up for continuous disappointment.
“Thank you!” is a great way to reply to a compliment.
There will always be ample time later to think about what is still missing and to consider the value of the compliment for your broader story.
You've got this 