Tag: change

When sharing is the opposite of caring

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You get out of a three-hour meeting where you have discussed important topics for the future of your team, your department, your company.

The first instinct is to share the bits and pieces of information you have collected with your peers – impressions, thoughts, gossips, directions, changes, tasks. If you are leader, you’d probably call right away an extraordinary meeting with people reporting into you, just to make sure that everybody can share in your own frustration, excitement, or whatever it is that you are feeling.

It would probably be a lot better, though, if you would take a moment to actually think about what just happened. Go for a walk. Call it a day. Take a piece of paper and write down what you have heard. Sleep on it. Go on for one or two days before talking to anybody that was not in that meeting about what comes next.

Your confusion does not have to be other people’s confusion.

Sure, sharing is fantastic and it makes you feel a little less lonely. But when you do not yet have a clear idea of what you should share, is it really worth it?

Current

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It’s ok to be cheerful even when not everything is going well. It’s ok to be down even when most things seem to be perfect.

We need to be able to recognise that life is made of a multitude of pieces. The one that is in front of us right now is what determines our current mood. And fortunately there is much more for us to appreciate, at any given time.

Sequence

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Try not to have two things requiring your immediate attention at the same time.

Always choose one. Keep it front and centre as you dedicate your full energy to it. Push the other (or the others) to the background, silencing its pressing requests. Once you have completed a meaningful part of what you have selected first, only then move your full attention to what is next. Repeat.

Sometimes you are so busy that things keep taking turns in your field of attention. You complete a task, move on to a second item, go back to the first to continue to the next milestone, begin with a third to take it to completion, switch to the second to progress it some more, and so on. If feels like you are dancing.

That’s the incredible feeling of working in sequence.

Better than two

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In whatever you do, keep things simple.

One button is better than two.

One paragraph is better than two.

One message is better than two.

One minute is better than two.

One goal is better than two.

It takes time and effort to bring things to their most simple form. And it pays off a million times.

Superpower

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Can you put boundaries around what happens in a given day? Can you keep it enclosed in the specific situation, the momentary emotion, the sudden thought?

Professional setbacks don’t have to spill into your personal life. A rejection or even a big failure do not have to determine your next actions or take away from your motivation. Someone being rude does not mean that every person you will meet from there onwards will be deserving a cold stare.

What happens is in the moment. The story we build around it can stay with us for a long time.

What happens is immutable. The story we build around it can be shaped however we prefer.

It’s a superpower to reclaim.