Discipline

Often, the word discipline is used in a negative sense.

We associate it with control, rule, restriction, and this is because for a long time now (about 800 years) we have used it to described an almost monastic situation in which somebody punishes themselves for something done that is against what their environment believes is the right, appropriate way.

Originally, though, the Latin word from which discipline comes (discipulus) meant pupil. The link with learning and studying is deep, as it is the idea that to learn something you need to put in the work, day after day, in a disciplined way. In a sense, this is a form of control that is not imposed from the outside, but rather comes from within, from the desire to know and apply the knowledge. It is a way of life, a moral way, a way according to which one knows what needs to be done to achieve something and therefore, relentlessly, they commit to doing just that.

According to Buddhism, discipline is one of the six perfections (paramitas). And it is threefold.

  • First, discipline means understanding what needs to be done, giving up all malicious deeds, all selfish and harmful actions.
  • Second, discipline means applying what is being learned to all circumstances of life, committing to the disciplined way, without cutting corners, looking for shortcuts, or forgetting the principle when a favorable situation appears.
  • Third, discipline means benefiting others, with the understanding and the actions, thinking of others as in terms of “how I can benefit them”.

Discipline is not as scary or restrictive as we are used to think. When it sparks from a deep awareness of who we are and what part we ought to have in the world, it is actually the only way to achieve what we set out to achieve.

In control

We are not in control.

We do not know how we got there, we do not know how long it will last, we do not know who will come next, we do not know if our work will be appreciated tomorrow, we do not know if the people we serve will find someone else who serves them better, we do not know for how long we can continue doing what we have done today, we do not know whether or not the rules of the game will change, when and how.

Most of our disappointments and frustrations emerge from us not recognizing this very basic fact. Once liberated from the illusion of being in control, we can start seeing the world around us as fluid and in perpetual movement.

Our role is to play along with it, not trying to freeze it.

Deferring

How many tabs do you have open in your browser? How many emails do you keep unread? How many apps do you have on your mobile? How many books and articles on your “want to read” list?

In today’s world, full of information and distraction, we have the tools to keep things in a sort of limbo that we label “I’ll do it later”, or “I’ll do it when I have time”. Truth is, later never comes, because after all we never have time.

Deferring is no longer “doing later”, rather “doing never”.

The accumulation of digital stuff to consume clutters our lives, increases our level of stress, and makes us feel as if we have achieved very little in our day. We should increase our self-awareness and be brave enough to say: “Sure, it’s interesting, but I’ll never go back to it. Let me get rid of it, right away.”

All the space is precious, even when it’s not tangible, even when we do not pay for it. Reclaiming it means freeing energy for things that matter.

Get to their point

The more words you use to describe what you do, the less the chances it’s going to be relevant for the person you are introducing it to.

We got used to jargon, adverbs, adjectives, buzz words, complex sentences, convoluted paragraphs, confusing language tricks and zero substance. Our brain is trained to disconnect as soon as things get too fuzzy. We lose our audience before we can even explain what it is we do.

The antidote to this is talking to the people you want to serve.

For 99% of our awake time, we are ourselves people someone else wants to serve. Yet, when our roles switch, we start believing the same things that would get our attention and money need to be made more complicated.

No one has time to waste on your pitch, save them time and get to their point.

Three ways to manage

Three different ways to manage people.

Here is how you do it – This is the way of (micro)management, telling people what is the right way to do their job. We like to think of this way as a way of the past, a way of the age of manual production lines and repetitive tasks. The objective of this way is to achieve more with less, and for this reason jobs are highly scrutinized, controlled and standardized.

Here is what to do – This is the way of project management. There’s a job to do, the manager splits it into discrete tasks, and assigns the tasks to those who report to them (or sometimes those who report to them get to pick the task they want). There’s usually some sort of performance review attached to this way, and it’s fairly straightforward, as the tasks need to be ready on time, on budget, and on scope.

Here is what to figure out – This is the way of leadership. We know we have a problem, we have identified the problem and agreed on a fairly broad definition of it, and now let’s bring our expertise, knowledge, skills together to attempt to solve it. Measurements do not really fit well with this way of management, and that’s perhaps why so many people feel uncomfortable with it.