Others will always ask, demand even, that you change your mind, do something, behave in a given way. And of course, it is your responsibility to accept what you feel comfortable with and push back against what is not for you. What does not help your own goal. What does not stand for you own values. What takes you farther from your purpose.
You set the boundaries and you are the one defending them.
You get what you measure.
Unless you measure too many things.
In that case, most likely, you get nothing.
Define success, pick a good proxy, and stick with it.
When you raise through the ranks, keep in mind that your role, responsibilities, relationships shift.
It is mainly a journey you have to do alone. And you can’t make up for it by pretending you are still friend with everyone. Your words have a different weight. Your messages have a different weight. Even your ideas and opinions have a different weight. The best you can do is embrace this fact and act as it is expected by your new role.
Instead of cracking an ambiguous joke, shut up and listen.
Instead of sharing your pain and frustration, own other’s pains and frustrations.
Instead of giving your opinion on every topic, ensure that others can give theirs.
The friend complex is dangerous for founders, executives, managers. Whether you resist to it might make the difference between being alone and being lonely.
When you can’t stand somebody.
When you have problems with them, can’t figure out what they stand for, have concerns about their agenda.
When you had an argument, can’t see eye to eye, really can’t understand.
When they are so different they annoy you, unnerve you, dishearten you, hurt you.
The only real thing to do is to be even closer to them. If you care about the relationship, of course.
You can explain. You can ask. You can force. You can demand. You can ghost.
But you should never decide for others.
If you decide for others, you are telling them they are not mature enough, strong enough, intelligent enough to make a decision for themselves.
That’s not something to be done lightly.
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