Category: self-help

Your phone

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you keep your phone on your desk while working, you get distracted.

If you turn it down, set it to silent or vibrate, you still get distracted.

If you put it somewhere else in the same room, you still get distracted.

If you leave it in your bag or in your coat, you still get distracted.

If someone separates you from your phone, you still get distracted.

And this means that you have increasing difficulties both when trying to access knowledge that you already have and when facing new problems that require new information (see Ward et al., 2017).

The most reliable way to avoid this is to train in being intentionally distant from your phone. It might sound as a difficult thing to do, and still nurturing a habit of doing without distraction can give a concrete and tremendous competitive advantage. Professionally, personally, and even sentimentally.

Today is a great day to start.

Love the process

FabrizioLeave a comment

The great thing about getting better at something is that it is an infinite process.

There is no limit, no perfection.

It is something that cannot be grasped. You can look back and say: I am better at it now. And while you say it, you are already on your way to getting better.

It is not a linear development. You win some, you lose most, and yet eventually, somehow, you end up being better.

It is not an action we are particularly good at planning, and indeed most of our betterment happens without a clear path, when we do not know, when there is darkness at the end of the tunnel.

Better is a volatile concept to hang on to.

So, love the process instead and forget better.

Strong and weak

FabrizioLeave a comment

Sometimes we feel strong. And then a comment, an action, a missed opportunity, an unexpected reaction makes us fall back into weakness.

Sometimes we feel weak. And then a comment, an action, an unexpected opportunity, a kind reaction makes our strength evolve to new heights.

We were not strong, we were not weak.

The most we can hope is to be aware enough to appreciate these fluctuations, and understand that in the end it was always us.

About your story

FabrizioLeave a comment

Why are you doing it?

Is it to get back at someone?

Is it a form of revenge?

Are you in it out of boredom?

Or perhaps because you feel you have no other chance.

Is it because someone is pushing you?

Or maybe because of someone else’s dream (a younger you perhaps).

If one of the above is the case, chances are that it will not work. Whatever you are doing, whatever you are up to these days, whatever you are planning for tomorrow will most likely fail if why you are doing it is because of others. In any shape or form.

Build a story from your experience, your practices, what you delivered, your purpose instead. And make it about it.

It will be your story. And it will make all the difference.

Fear to lose

FabrizioLeave a comment

When the main driver is the fear to lose what one has achieved, most likely there will be poor decisions, regret, and misery.

We need to be able to maintain a distance from our achievements. By all means, let’s be proud of them. But also remember that our job, our role, our income, our wealth, the praises we receive, the targets we met, the network we built. They are not a measure of our worth.

Nurture practices instead, craft a purpose that gives you meaning, stick to values you feel are right. Focus on what is in your power. That’s when you realize that when you fall, your foundations are solid, and you will have plenty of occasions to start afresh.

You will also find that you will fall less and less often.

Perhaps because we are all falling all the time.