Category: self-help

Self-sabotage

FabrizioLeave a comment

Sometimes a situation just turns out to have the worst possible outcome, and you could have told from the beginning.

You had spotted the discomfort in approaching it, the signals, the opposition of others. You had noticed that nothing was going the way it was supposed to. You had called it difficult, wrong, impossible. You had said many times you were giving it your best, and despite that, you could not see any improvement. You had wanted to quit and give up, in different occasions, and yet stayed in it until the very, inevitable, tragic ending.

This is self-sabotaging.

Shared

FabrizioLeave a comment

You do not have to manage change to make it happen.

You can still make a decision and expect everyone to act accordingly.

You can drift through the days and wait for something to come your way.

You can stand on the side and take credit for whatever success will come.

You do not have to manage change, but when you manage change you make it a shared experience. A shared decision, a shared opportunity, a shared outcome. It is only by managing change that you can make a long-term impact.

Humane

FabrizioLeave a comment

If presented with the possibility, would you share the highest reward with your fiercest competitor? Would you be fine with going down in history together with them? Or would you just try a bit harder, a bit further, to be the only winner?

Too often we see competition as a zero-sum game, a clear winner and loser is a must. But what occurred in the high jump points to something far greater. As we outlined in Peak Performance*, if we can put our ego aside, we actually free ourselves up to perform to our best ability. Our ego often pushes us to perform out of a place of fear, of needing to show the world that I’m good enough. When we can let go of that noise, and realize that competition is about getting the most out of ourselves, we can fulfill our potential.

Brad Stulberg, Competing with instead of always against

* My notes on Peak Performance.

A sign of commitment

FabrizioLeave a comment

Saying no is a sign of commitment.

When you know that what you are doing matters, you want to dedicate to it as much time and energy as possible. And you can only do that if you have developed the capacity to resist alternatives, to refuse help, to reject opportunities.

Saying no is saying you are on the right path.

Structure and chaos

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Structure is what gives predictability. You can expect certain things to happen because the script says so. Structure does not like free thinkers and innovators: somebody else already did all the thinking and the innovating, it is now time to march.

Chaos is the exact opposite. You have to figure out what is going to happen because there is no script. Chaos does not believe in bosses and managers: there is no past experience to replicate or resources to carefully allocate, it is time to connect the dots.

Design your habits and practice so that it is possible to move continuosly between structure and chaos.

That is a feat you will need.