Category: leadership

Connection

Fabrizio3 Comments

We underestimate the importance of talking with somebody when things are bad.

We tend to close, fantasize, make assumptions, build on our own emotions, point fingers, second guess, and in general spiral down in a hole we can’t get ourselves out of.

There is always somebody to talk to. Sometimes that is your partner, a friend, your boss, the quiet colleague who barely talks in meetings, a mentor, a person you think highly of.

When things are bad, we need connection much more than a solution. And connection is all around us, we just need to be brave enough to reach out and start building it.

Would you take it?

FabrizioLeave a comment

Are you into leadership because of the power, the role, the status, or because of the challenges, the responsibility, the people that allow you to lead?

It seems like a trivial question, and the answer is probably, for most, somewhat in the middle.

But I can’t count the leaders who stop at the prestige and forgo the difficult part.

What if we would start presenting promotions into leadership roles in a different way? And so, instead of saying.

You did well so far, here is a promotion, a new title, and a salary raise.

We would say.

You did well so far. Here is a chance to take this team and make it awesome, to listen to their ideas and ensure the ones that make sense get developed and the others are put on hold (perhaps forever), to raise their engagement with the company and their role even in the face of bad news – especially in the face of bad news. Do you take it?

Managers do really need to start thinking at leadership in a different way, otherwise it will continue to be the professional graveyard of people with monetary and status ambitions.

Silence

Fabrizio1 Comment

Silence makes us uncomfortable. Yet without silence there is no listening.

We spend entire conversations just waiting for out turn to speak, trying to cut the others short because our idea, our understanding, our experience is better, talking over each other, filling reflective pauses with jokes or irrelevant thoughts, getting annoyed because everyone is taking too long to get to the point. While indeed we should give silence more space.

Silence is a beautiful pause. It is thought, reflection, clarification. Sometimes, when talking to somebody and allowing for some silence to happen, you can see that something clicks, you can clearly grasp the moment they are getting an insight, a new perspective, a better way to approach the issue.

Learn how to be silent, and how to give others the space to be silent.

Talking is power only when we have something to say. And we often do not.

Opposition

FabrizioLeave a comment

We often find meaning and identity in opposition.

Groups get stronger when they are attacked. Their members feel closer to each other when there is a stranger around, and they find agreement when the topic is a different group.

And the more we are weak, the more this happens with intensity and fervour. The less we know about ourselves, the more we seek in others.

It is only when we accept that every one, every group, every community has their strengths and weakness, their leaders and followers, their lights and shadows. It is only then, when we raise, that we can really find who we are, what we stand for, and where we call home.

My door is always open

Fabrizio2 Comments

If your door is always open, you should go out in the world and see what’s going on.

Way to often the open door is a lazy excuse. Sure, come to me with your questions, doubts, concerns, just don’t expect me to ask first. Because, well, you do not care.

We keep reading of how change is difficult, of how important it is to communicate, of how keeping people involved is critical to its success.

Is then my door is always open the best we can resort to?

If you care, actively ask, seek input, practice empathy, pretend candour.

If you have it all figured out instead, keep leaving your door open. No one will bother your certainty.