Category: leadership

A different way

Fabrizio2 Comments

When you feel like you want to lash out at somebody.

Get aggressive, forget about manners, say it as it is. Ask a provocative question, answer in a passive aggressive tone. Send an irate reply, or no reply at all. Take it public, escalate it, raise the flag.

There is one question you should ask yourself first.

Why?

It is often so that, when that emotion takes us, we want to act to get it out, to relieve ourselves, to trade a long-term effect for a short-term boost.

If it is change we want, we have to find a different way.

Old friends

Fabrizio1 Comment

If you are a manager and you are starting at a new company, it is great that you have already some key people from your past experiences that you would like to bring onboard to fill key roles and take important responsibilities.

As you do that, be mindful of two things though.

The people in the company might feel like they are missing an opportunity. How are you going to address that? What is the rationale behind you hiring new people you know versus promoting somebody who has already done a great job in the organisation? Do you have a process in mind to assess competence and eventually make a decision?

And even most importantly, by doing that you are accepting the idea that what worked previously at another company will also work this time around. Is that realistic or is that wishful thinking? How much does it have to do with you wanting it to be that way? Are you going to make sure you can keep your eyes open to the unexpected and the unknown?

Harsh

Fabrizio2 Comments

You can resort to raising your voice to establish a power dynamic in an argument you are having, but you will not make the argument go away.

You can rush telling your piece before the other person has even done speaking, but you will not appreciate what the other has to say.

You can shout to get the attention, but you will not keep it to change minds and behaviours.

Relationships are never built with harsh manners and rude self-centrism.

And it is relationships you want to build, throughout all your life.

Forcing

Fabrizio1 Comment

Nobody is forcing you to stay where you are.

Somebody perhaps asked, or maybe it is exactly where you wanted to be, or it might be that it is fear that’s sticking you to that seat. You might feel the responsibility. You are probably telling yourself there is no other option. You are asking others to validate your desperate attempts, and the faintest nod makes you double down on your fragile certainty.

But the truth is, nobody is forcing you.

So, if it starts feeling wrong. If people around you tell you that it is wrong. If you can’t find peace of mind, despite the desperate attempts and the faint nods. If anywhere you look is despair, rejection, sadness.

Move.

Nobody is forcing you to stay there.

No solution

FabrizioLeave a comment

Caring about others, about a situation, about an outcome it’s not finding an immediate solution.

It is more about persistence.

Asking how someone is, inquiring about the status of a project, ensuring people who come to you with issues, fears, troubles, complaints feel heard and respected, coming up with ways to help and continuing doing that when help is rejected, truly listening and deeply caring. Doing this over a period of time, regularly, without waiting for others to ask, without missing an opportunity to show that it matters to you, without assuming that having nothing new to say is having nothing to say at all.

We are all very good at offering our support. We are also equally good at finding any possible way to escape from having to actually give it.