Category: culture

Real problem

FabrizioLeave a comment

The problem is not that people will stop relying on you because you rarely deliver on your promises.

The problem is not that your productivity is going to decrease because you are juggling too many things.

The problem is not that your dear ones will no longer seek out your company and your help because you are never truly there.

When you do not put boundaries, when you equate busyness with status, when you take the shortcut of being on top of it all, the real problem is that you have lost sight of what is important to you.

And if you have lost that, how are you going to achieve it?

Not going to want to change

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you tell somebody they are stupid, they are not going to want to change.

If you make fun of their theories, point to their inconsistencies, denigrate their capacity for solid thinking, they are not going to want to change.

If all you give them is your version, for as much as sense as it makes, they are not going to want to change.

If you show them a world they cannot be part of, they are not going to want to change.

All of this can win a quick laugh and some superficial bond with those who think like you.

It’s not going to make things change, though.

Faulty comparison

FabrizioLeave a comment

How do you feel about those trying to succeed where you have failed?

It is natural to approach this with negativity. Certainly, someone achieving what you could not achieve will mean you are not good enough. It will put a spotlight on your shortfall. It will make others think less of you. It will make way for negative comments. It will preclude future opportunities.

That’s not so. And you are better off if you not measure your worth by comparison with others.

Think instead: how can I help them, so that they will not make the same mistakes I have made?

And: what can I learn from their process, so that I will be more ready next time?

Shared

FabrizioLeave a comment

You do not have to manage change to make it happen.

You can still make a decision and expect everyone to act accordingly.

You can drift through the days and wait for something to come your way.

You can stand on the side and take credit for whatever success will come.

You do not have to manage change, but when you manage change you make it a shared experience. A shared decision, a shared opportunity, a shared outcome. It is only by managing change that you can make a long-term impact.

Humane

FabrizioLeave a comment

If presented with the possibility, would you share the highest reward with your fiercest competitor? Would you be fine with going down in history together with them? Or would you just try a bit harder, a bit further, to be the only winner?

Too often we see competition as a zero-sum game, a clear winner and loser is a must. But what occurred in the high jump points to something far greater. As we outlined in Peak Performance*, if we can put our ego aside, we actually free ourselves up to perform to our best ability. Our ego often pushes us to perform out of a place of fear, of needing to show the world that I’m good enough. When we can let go of that noise, and realize that competition is about getting the most out of ourselves, we can fulfill our potential.

Brad Stulberg, Competing with instead of always against

* My notes on Peak Performance.