Author: Fabrizio

Not going to want to change

FabrizioLeave a comment

If you tell somebody they are stupid, they are not going to want to change.

If you make fun of their theories, point to their inconsistencies, denigrate their capacity for solid thinking, they are not going to want to change.

If all you give them is your version, for as much as sense as it makes, they are not going to want to change.

If you show them a world they cannot be part of, they are not going to want to change.

All of this can win a quick laugh and some superficial bond with those who think like you.

It’s not going to make things change, though.

Two lines

FabrizioLeave a comment

There are always two lines. The one that got us here, and the one that will take us further ahead.

We tend to think less about the former and more about the latter. The future is always front and center: it’s the place of dreams, of ambitions, of possibilities. But it is also the place where something is always missing, as nobody looks at tomorrow saying: I want it to be just like today.

Being able to appreciate the past, to grasp the progress, to find the foundations, is just as important as having a strong purpose. It actually helps to shape a more solid purpose.

The two lines are not in competition, you don’t have to choose one over the other.

You have to find the right balance.

Celebrate failure

FabrizioLeave a comment

Celebrate even when you fail.

Even when you end up fourth, and only the first three get a medal.

Write a story that makes you a winner.

Think of a way to elevate your performance.

Build the stepping stone for your future success.

Adam Ondra, 4th place in Speed Climbing @Tokyo Olympics
(Photo: Jess Talley, Jon Glassberg/Louder Than 11)

Faulty comparison

FabrizioLeave a comment

How do you feel about those trying to succeed where you have failed?

It is natural to approach this with negativity. Certainly, someone achieving what you could not achieve will mean you are not good enough. It will put a spotlight on your shortfall. It will make others think less of you. It will make way for negative comments. It will preclude future opportunities.

That’s not so. And you are better off if you not measure your worth by comparison with others.

Think instead: how can I help them, so that they will not make the same mistakes I have made?

And: what can I learn from their process, so that I will be more ready next time?

Self-sabotage

FabrizioLeave a comment

Sometimes a situation just turns out to have the worst possible outcome, and you could have told from the beginning.

You had spotted the discomfort in approaching it, the signals, the opposition of others. You had noticed that nothing was going the way it was supposed to. You had called it difficult, wrong, impossible. You had said many times you were giving it your best, and despite that, you could not see any improvement. You had wanted to quit and give up, in different occasions, and yet stayed in it until the very, inevitable, tragic ending.

This is self-sabotaging.