The next time we walk into a situation with a negative feeling (anxiety, fear, anger, shame, doubtfulness, sadness, preoccupation, …), a way to unlock the impasse is to voice our state right at the beginning.

I have had bad experiences before, this is way I am afraid and anxious.

I don’t usually do a good job when there is a deadline looming, and I now feel doubtful and preoccupied.

I was seeking support and I don’t think I have gotten it, that’s why I am angry now.

I feel quite shameful and a bit anxious in being here in front of you today.

When we do this, our feelings immediately start to dissipate, and that’s because they are not just ours anymore. They are shared.

What’s more, we set the audience for empathy, as what we are saying is most likely much more relatable than the behaviour we might manifest.