After becoming a leader, there is a choice you have to make.

As you are in the middle, many think the choice is between siding with management and siding with your team. But the truth is, the two sides are not at war. And a huge part of your responsibilities as a leader is to not act as if they were.

The tension is instead between you and your team.

Every request from the people you lead will cut into your time, energy, and focus. You will not be able to do what you were doing before, what you were good at before. They will ask, demand, pretend, guess, second guess, and ask some more. They will push you to do things you are not used to. They will force you to have conversations you would normally avoid. They will expect that you raise above yourself, often without any guidance, and act as the leader you are paid to be.

And so the choice is between being who you are and being who your team wants and needs you to be.

Not many people are willing to let go – of their ideas, of their ways, of their habits, of their responsibilites, of their work, of their ego.

Not many people are good leaders.